Rally to Onyx!

Day 35: *Calculations: 93 miles, 74 hrs.*
*It turns out the Onyx Post Office is only open from 7-9am on Saturday, and is is Wednesday in Mojave and we have 93 miles to tackle before the PO closes. The hitch out of Mojave took us just under an hour which set us on the trail at 9:30 am. A couple nice guys picked us up on their way to the "C-ment" yard and they explained that the wind farms supplied energy to LA.
Meanwhile, our friends Todd, Heaps and Monologue were trying their luck getting out of Tehachapi, the other possible town to visit from the junction. Prior to our stay in Mojave, Paul & Ben engaged in a friendly competition with the Tehachupi folk. Todd, our friend from Santa Barbara, describes Mojave as a degenerate leper colony, while Tehachoopi is a shimmering utopian paradise. He somehow conned Heaps, a young gentleman from New Zealand or Australia (We're not sure he knows exactly), and Monologue, a young woman from Alaska, into joining him in Tehachoopali. The game was on-prove to these 3 punks that Mojave is regrettable to miss. We staged a pool party and a hotel party; however, we never got the respect we deserved-only ridicule.
As we arrived at our decided camp spot, we found a note describing a bear encounter in that spot earlier the same morning. the bear looked sick and kept barring its teeth apparently. We quickly pushed on and slept beneath windmills and amongst cow pies. 

*I spotted my first bear while on my way to meet Ben. He got scared and ran off. Then I got scared and ran off.

Day 36:
*More Hikers!!
We met and passed close to 10 new hikers. It seems we're finally catching up to the herd(the big group of hikers leaving the kick off PCT party late April). We met some superb new people; however, if our attempt to rally to Onyx, our time to socialize was limited. Day1 - 25 miles, day 2 - 28 miles. But most importantly, in an attempt to spite Todd, Heaps and Monologue, we gave ourselves Mojave trail names(Less than flattering trail names): Ben=Monkey Dump and Paul = Hamburguesa. Paul also left a message from them, exclaiming over his excitement with the swedish volleyball team in Mojave. Unfortunately, he didn't specify gender. Todd and Heaps didn't miss a beat. Tehachachi crew 1, Mojave 0

Day 37:
*33 miles, sore muscles, our last night camping with Kelly and a 35 mile section with no water. Luckily, there were 2 water caches. 8 miles to get to Onyx the next morning.

Day 38:
*4am wake up call. Still dark, still tired. Wearing layers, hat and gloves, we hiked out and made Walker Pass (the Onyx junction) by 7:00am. To our surprise, there was incredible trail magic from Trail Angel Okie-Girl-an entire set-up with places to sleep, things to eat and drink, fuel refill, and for us, a ride into town. Excellent. We ended up reuniting with Monologue, Todd and Heaps in the afternoon(who renamed us Shit Monkey and Hamburger Ass (Damn, Tehachalupa 2, Mojave 0)) Also, we caught up with Shadow, a friend from Georgia (SSN: What up Marques)

Day 39:
*Next stop, Kennedy Meadows. Welcome to the Sierras. Trading rattlesnakes for bears. Our 30+ mile days seemed to have caught up with us and we spent the day taking long lunches and camping early. 21 miles to Kennedy Meadows, the gateway to the High Sierrras.

Day 40:
*Ben awakes early, and as on most town day stays, hikes straight through without waiting for Paul(selfish, yes, but burgers and beers were calling) And we have finally found water, yes, water. A river, rushing through the Sierras-a fine sight, and only the beginning. We spent the rest of the miles hiking through the Sierran meadows rolling plains of sage brush nestled amongst the mountains.

Day 41:
*Zero day in Kennedy=too much ice cream, beers, and hot food off the grill. Plus some down time with other hikers and heaps of laughs with our hiking mates, Monologue, Todd, Heaps and Shadow. (we're learning the lingo, Heaps, we're learning)

*Heaps also got his trail name changed to Herpes. Our two friends Laura and Ingrid took the bait and continued to call him by his new name all day.
Tehakoochipie 2 Mojave 1

Tour de Trail Angels: From Hiker Heaven to Casa de Luna to Hiker Town

Day 29:
*Zero in Aqua Dulce! And for an added bonus, Krazy Kary, a very unique and eccentric trail angel, drove a few of us to REI for the afternoon. She has always been a ranch girl and remembers getting her first pony at age 3. In her teenage years, living in Malibu, she used to ride her pony bare back to the beach with her surfboard somehow harnessed to the pony. She'd hitch it to a tree and go surfing all afternoon. We heard tons of fascinating stories from Kary and the trip was a complete treat. Also, Kary is one inclined to use terms like "Clusterfuck," to make "cock" jokes as she does raise chickens and turkeys, and to hang a Tales from the Crypt head from her rearview mirror - it's a warning to people not to mess with my truck, because then they have to deal with me."

*Zero day at the Saufley's. About 10 hikers set up residence in their backyard for two nights. Our first real taste of the hiking community since we started the trail!! Hung around, listening to The Beatles and Willie Nelson records, and watched The Big Lebowski.

Day 30:
*We leave the Saufley's into a light mist. Donna Saufley, a most excellent trail angel and human being said as we left, "Not many get to leave here in the rain," but thus it was so. We hiked 17 miles through clouds settling over us and through rain to stumble upon the Hiker's Oasis Cache - a water cache under cover of trees with Hawaiian decor mixed with Halloween decor, a bunch of lawn chairs, and an entire cooler filled with soda and beer. What's more, there was a note encouraging us to hike 7 miles more to the "Casa de Luna" for taco salad for dinner and pancakes for breakfast. We arrived to loud music, a bunch of empty beer bottles, people playing frisbee and hackey sack, dogs barking, a futon with people sitting on it and drinking, and two of the most kind and generous trail angels-Joe and Terri Anderson.
Casa de Luna = hawaiian shirts, flip cup, taco salad, magical manzanita garden. What happens at Casa de Luna, stays at Casa de Luna.

*We met "Team, Smrt"(pronounced smart). Six hikers who took a wront turn and hiked 50 miles in the wrong direction. They found themselves at Casa de Luna for the second time in one week. Based on the amount of beer they have been consuming since the beginning of their trip, it was inevitable.

Day 31:
*Dump day at Casa de Luna. We helped load some of the junk from the front yard, drank some coffee, and then headed out into the rain once again with full 1 pound breakfast burritos. We met up with our new hiking crew, Todd, Heaps, and Monologue, and enjoyed some laughs and some Pink Floyd at the campsite.  The clouds dissipated briefly and we had sun--first time in 4 days. 

*Let's not forget about the family who let their generator run all night long.

Day 32:
*The clouds must have settled upon the saddles because we all woke up with our gear drenched. However, this only lasted temporarily because the clouds finally broke and the desert heat fell upon us. Luckily, our destination was Hikertown, another hostel type hiker refuge put on by Bob and Richard. A strange place run by strange men and a bunch of live stock. Richard worked in movies and so he had a bunch of old set-design material and props, which make it difficult to tell which facilities were real and which were fake. Very relaxing and Richard made pancakes for us in the morning to boot. The only weird part was when Richard offered Ben a part in hi latest film, x-rated starring an 87 yr. old woman.(SSN: HAHAHA!)

Day 33:
*Nothing much besides 6 miles, approximately, of walking along the LA Aqueduct through the desert valley(yeah for Joshua Trees) and some pretty serious heat. Yet, the night ended spectacularly as we cowboy camped at the base of Tyler Horse canyon, two ridge lines rising up on either side of us, and sleeping under a full moon and stars in the great American desert-very western!

Day 34:
*Hiked through another windfarm and hitched into Mojave.

"Junk Yards, wind farms and scenic mountain views"

Secretary side note: I apologize for not posting days 17-19 before you posted day 20. I won't let this happen again hikers. But here we go....

Day 17: 

*Desert! Back to the desert! And not any desert-this desert began as a winding switchback for 10 miles with the morning sun beating down on the side of the mountain we were hiking on then proceeded to unravel into the valley(102 degrees F) where we walked another 5 miles across barren desert wasteland in gale-force winds. Our refuge: lunch under an interstate overpass. Quite a fine contrast of urban and rural - eating lunch below cars, staring out over the power lines at these beautiful, stoic humbling San Jacinto mountain peaks. And finally we descended into a washed out river valley to sleep. Paul has resorted to cowboy camping(sleeping under the stars without a tent). Ben keeps his snake sightings at dusk to himself.

*We walked through the middle of a wind farm all afternoon. I guess the wind shouldn't have been a surprise. During our hobo style lunch, Ben kept searching through all the trash piles "in case someone left something good behind." SSN(Secretary Side Note): Ben you are trashy.

Day 18:
*LONG....and hot walking up a river valley for over 10 miles. Just when we'd had enough, we found a brilliant little cliff overhang right next to the river which we decided to lunch at. More of the same for the second half of the day. Needless to say, it felt LONG. 

*A very long, hot day. Then we had our coldest night yet. I sealed myself into my mummy sleeping bag and fell asleep to the scent of feet and farts.

Day 19:
*As Paul struggles to make sense of the world in the absence of his summer sausage and cheese, we swiftly approach Big Bear City for resupply. Stinky and hungry, we persevere. It's Memorial Day Weekend, but no holiday trail magic has crossed our paths (except for a cooler of fruit next to a recliner chair in the middle of the woods, which was excellent). And some sweet domestic wildlife: 6 llamas, 2 grizzlies, 1 tiger, and 1 panther. It sounds more daring and brave if we don't tell you the truth(but they were real, we promise, and we saw them on the trail!)

Memorial Day, and then some . . .

Day 20:

*Memorial Day! We decided to treat ourselves to a town stay in Big Bear City. We hitched into town in a pick-up truck, rented a luxury suite at the Nature's Inn motel with two hiker buddies, Gantz and TCB (takin' care of business (Elvis inspired)), ate mexican food, drank a beer, and finished the night off with some good ol' fashioned prime time television.

Day 21:
*The Almighty Trail Angel Christopher Sauchak visited us from LA! He imparted wisdom of the Sauce and offered some excellent trail magic (food, ride to trailhead along rugged dirt road, good company, etc.) What trail magic Sauchak did not provide, was a magic cure for Paul's "irritable bowel syndrome," which lasted from Memorial Day evening, all day Tuesday, and Wednesday morning.

**Paul's new unoffficial trail names:
- Cropduster: due to trail flatulence when passing other hikers, or usually, just Ben.
- Dumps Too Close: no proper gauge as to what an appropriate distance should be when dumping (i.e. to water sources (bit of an exaggeration), to the trail, to camp, to Ben, etc. . .)
- Hamburguesa: doesn't this just sound like a name for someone who eats mexican and shits his pants?
- Bionic Woman: he now wears two knees braces, and believe it our not, two ace bandages on his shins.

Day 22:

*We awake to uncertainty . . . before we know it, Paul eats a bowl of granola and proceeds to puke all over the campsite. Yep, things had gotten worse. We decide to hike the 10.7 miles (plus 3 along rugged dirt road plus 1 to the motel) back to Big Bear City. Fortunately, the Champions League final for soccer was on, and game five of the Red Wings/Blackhawks conference finals. "Hmmm . . . " thinks Ben, "coincidence?"

**Steps to catch Red Wings playoff games while hiking the PCT:
1. Eat the biggest, wettest burrito you've ever seen in your life from a mexican restaurant that has UFC fights on the entire day.
2. Chug a soda, a beer, and then buy a full pack of Oreos and milk for a late night snack.
3. Enter and exit the bathroom three times in twenty minutes.
4. Pretend you have a fever, but play it off casually to your hiking partner, but then moan and groan quietly within earshot of your hiking partner.
5. Use an entire role of TP the following day of hiking and take so long that other hikers remarked, "We saw his pack, but there was no sign of him. He's at least 20 minutes back." Several hikers remarked this.
6. Wake up the following morning saying you don't feel good and then purge in front of Ben.
7. Decide to return to town on the night Red Wings play Blackhawks after two nights off from playing.
8. Feel better the following morning.

Day 23-24:

**Ben and Paul split!!

From Ben's point of view:
--While Paul decides to yogi (connivingly get something from someone without asking) a ride 70 miles north on the trail, Ben sets out to hike the distance in 2 days via an old army surplus offroad vehicle driven by a man named Lee.
First day was rather uneventful. Lots of miles and some interesting canyon crest walking which led to a hot spring (along the San Andreas fault) with a bunch of skinny dippers.
Day 2 went much differently:
While Paul decided to have a nice relaxing day reading in a sandy riverbed, relaxing at McDonalds, and chatting up other hikers, Ben did this:
-got lost for 1 hour after hiking only 4 miles and walking through a river he didn't have to.
-had to hike 29 miles, in wet feet, after 10am to meet Paul before dusk.
-in order to meet Paul he had to speed hike, which was hindered by an unexpected bathroom break and a water refill because the next 15 miles were dry.
-had a thunderstorm roll up as he's filtering water and had to out run the storm for 16 miles.
-as soon as the thunder started, he encountered a 4-5 foot rattlesnake just laying out along the trail (time to slow down).
-had to take refuge during lunch inside a porta-potty (quite a good shelter actually).
-arrive at rendevous point with 4 new blisters and a smile, why? well, yes to see Paul, but more importantly to indulge in a McUltimate sandwich (created by Scott Niemi and Ross Daniels).

From Paul's Point of View:
While Ben is busy hiking all day long, I got a ride from a wonderful couple that I had met the day before at our hotel. They knew the area well and drove me 70 miles, right to the exact spot where I would meet Ben the next night. Again, I'm amazed by the kindness of all the people we're meeting along the trail. I gave them this blog address so hopefully they'll check in. Thank you very much again.

I set up my own camp a mile or so back up the trail, reading and relaxing. The next day I hung out with more hiker friends that had come by me during the late morning. I spent the rest of the afternoon in a river bed at the spot where the stream wound down to a trickle and soaked into the ground. It was the end of a river. After a few hours of digging various trenches and rerouting the river, Ben strolls up looking and smelling like he had just hiked 65 miles in two days. We proceeded up the hill and went to McDonalds for our McUltimate challenge.

The McUltimate. One of my younger brother's creations. We approached the situation with confidence after our hiker appetites have been allowing us to put down 5000-6000 calories a day without any adverse affects. It is a do-it-yourself meal at McDonalds that is a double cheeseburger, McChicken sandwich, Fillet-of-Fish, and a small french fry all between two buns. It was disgusting and amazing all at the same time. But guess what, we washed it all down with a large chocolate milk shake. Your move Scott and Ross. Let's see if you can up that.


Day 25:

What not to do the day after embarking on a McUltimate voyage: hike up a mountain for 10 miles and gain 5,000 feet. Well, we did anyway, but had some nice rattlesnake sightings to spice up the afternoon. We finished the night off with rain, in fact, enough rain for us to both put on our pack covers. We ended at a campsite with the most stunning, picturesque view of a ridgeline as the clouds dissapated from the sky and the amber glow of the sun shimmered in the west alighting the water drops clinging to fallen pine needles on the forest floor.

Rattlesnake update. We are now in Timber Rattler territory. Guess what moms, they're even bigger and meaner than the Western Diamondback.


Day 26:

WE awake to coyotes. They actually look quite gentle and friendly up close, tip-toeing around the campsite looking for scraps. After our brief encounter with the magnificent wild, we needed a dose of civilization and so hitched into the town of Wrightwood. We've discovered hitching out West is most interesting and peculiar. We haven't even had to throw our thumbs out yet. We simply engage in a conversation and suddenly the other party asks us if we need a ride. Magnificent trail magic. But even more impressive was who these particular trail angels were. Thru-hikers around the world, prepare to be humbled: the couple who picked us up were professional ultramarathon runners. They were out training for the Badwater Ultramarathon (www.badwater.com), a race across Death Valley in the middle of summer. 140 miles across the desert in one shot! No sleep! No stopping! Just running! Sure, we PCT hikers hike 20 miles a day in the desert. Big whoop. These two were crazy. And to our surprise, not just two crazy anybodies. We hitched with Jorge Pacheco, the best runner in the world, 2008, and Marie, his partner. Very humble individuals, for being such athletic superheroes.

Day 27:

We found some hiking buddies and now we travel 4 strong: Ben and Paul, Mike (TCB b/c of his huge Elvis fascination), and Kelly, a free Methodist Pastor. We rallied to make Agua Dulce in 4 days--70 miles, 4 days = 23 miles a day. According to Kelly, we were "motorin' ". Leaving Little Jimmy Spring Campground, a popular bear hang-out, (which we found none), we headed north. Ben and Paul, both feeling strong this particular morning, kept their noses to the trail and began the first climb of the day. Somehow, their noses were rather buried and they managed to miss the trail junction and summit a 8,200 ft. peak unintentionally. Although technically they had gotten lost, they were nonetheless proud of their feat (however, it did affect their feet). They rolled into camp last, to cheers from Kelly and TCB who were wagering whether we'd make it or not. The night ended with an algae-saturated water refill, a rattlesnake by the spring, and stories of TCB's escapades in Amsterdam, attending a rave in the basement of some parking structure.

Day 28:

48 miles left until Agua Dulce. Few water resupplies along the way. So what do we do? Split a 24 mile day into two 12 mile halves. At 12 miles we replenished our water at a ranger station, ate lunch, and moved on. 12 miles later we entered camp; however, no one was quite ready to be done--perhaps because of some severe wind whipping through camp, or perhaps because of the two gentleman shooting a bow and arrow across the campsite at a target of a baby picture. Both drinking Tecate (an excellent beverage), half-crazy, half-drunk, these two entertained us with excellent marksmanship, rhymes, and stories of Vietnam. At one point, one of the guys who looked identical to "The Dude" in The Big Lebowski walked up with his hands in the pockets of his hooded sweatshirt and said, "4 divided by 2 is a half," while pulling out two beers for the four of us. He lay them on the table, tipped his sunglasses, nodded his head, and walked away.

Day 29:
Into Agua Dulce! Although the rain rolled in around 11am, we discovered a secret lunchtime cave, entered Vasquez Rocks county park (Danny, do you know anything about this?) which is a crazy spectacular array of immense rock formations, as well as a sanctuary for mountain lions, and finally strolled into town. We ate pizza, drank beer, ate ice cream and caught up with some long-lost hiker chums: Todd, Monologue, Bluebird and Buster, Heaps, Shadow, Lindsay, and Magellan. The evening was filled with stories and laughter, however, our friends Bluebird and Buster left us after a freak accident with Bluebird falling off her bike and having to go to the hospital. Everything is fine save for a broken wrist.